Yes, I am THAT mother who…

… can’t drive the shopping cart car and takes out the candy display at the grocery store

… holds up the exit at the parking garage because she only could find 65 cents when learning that no, parking is not free during that time

… sends her child out in public with pants that are way too short because he sprouted up faster than she could get to Kohls or Kid-to-Kid

… and clothes that don’t match because she forgot to do laundry… again

… forgets her child’s raincoat on days he really needs it

and rain boots

and hat

… wakes up to a bed full of dog and child and all the stuffed buddies who made their way there in the middle of the night

… can’t have a coherent thought before having a cup… or two… of coffee in the morning

… is thankful for cucumbers and avocados and other healthy foods that require no cooking

… forgets there is laundry in the wash

and the dryer

… hasn’t worn hardly any makeup since… who knows when

… can’t remember the last book she read in its entirety that hasn’t been written by Eric Carle or Dr. Suess

never irons

… has to take inventory of her shopping cart before checking out for items put there by quick little hands

… cries (and curses) when the dishwasher stops working

… lets her child play with the figurines in the middle of the aisle in Michaels because it keeps him happy

… orders pizza because she just doesn’t feel like washing the dishes she needs to cook

… has a 4-year old who often reminds her to “Take a Breath,” (apparently those lessons are sticking better with him than me)

… allows her child to play with his food because he’s still eating it and it just isn’t a battle worth fighting

… owes the library money if fees because she forgot, yet again, to return them on time

… enjoys listening to her child’s far-fetched stories about Dr. Skees and ThunderHook and BoomSpinner

… still rocks her child to sleep because listening to him chatter while snuggling is the best part of the day

… occasionally resorts to small bribes to just get through the errands of the day

… probably needs a better clean-up system other than – “if you don’t pick it up, the dog is going to eat it

… tries really hard to do the best she can while enjoying the happy child she’s raising.

American Express Photo - Tina Fey

American Express Photo – Tina Fey

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